Bio: LOUD PIPES - Biography

Once upon a time, in the darkest depths of Sweden, in a small village called �smo, a family moved out. They went over hills and mountains in their little car to find happiness. They settled in the cozy town of Haninge, in a small cabin amongst the picturesque terrace houses.

The oldest of the three children, Robbin, was a great hermit, and didn�t leave his room for anything other than food and/or buying new strings for his guitar (which he played very frequently). However, every once in a while his mother (even though he resisted) threw him out and yell�d at him to go to school.

In his new class, poor Robbin was all out of friends. One day, in the canteen, he grabbed some food. On his way to the lonely table in the back, this huge guy appears from out of nowhere and �accidentally� bumps into Robbins tray, and makes him drop everything on the floor. What a disaster... Everyone laughs at Robbin, which rages out furiously and initiates a rocket-upper-cut against the big bloke. KASCHWOOOSH.

-LUCHA! (�FIGHT!� in Spanish) -

Outside the principals office, the two troublemakers Robbin and Anton are now seated. The tears are flowing from Anton�s eyes. If he would have been an emo-kid, his make-up would have been all over the place.

-�AAW, *cry,moan,cry* what�s my mummy supposed to say now? I�ve never even been in a fight before....�
-�Dude, dun� wurry �bout it, cuz I got it all covered...�
-�What do you mean?�

Robbin told Anton of his brilliant idea, which definitely solved the problem of Anton�s mother. In fact, the idea was so goddamn comfortable, we won�t tell ya what it�s �bout... EVEN!
Out from the office the two sly dogs came -more or less- as friends. All of the other pupils thought this sucked fat ass badly, and that it was generally uncomfortable. Therefore they only met in secrecy after school. They spent hours in Robbin's attic, reading �Kamratposten� a.k.a. �KP� (a very geeky magazine from Sweden, for people who don't have any friends). They bursted into tunes as they declared that they had found their soulmate in one of the ads in the paper.



-�Comfortable guy! Let's check him out!�

Name: Philip Tegn�r
Age: 16
Location: Tyres�, Stockholm
Address: Pocolocostigen 14
Message: �Hello! I'm a geek from outer space... Just kiddin'.. I'm a small kid looking for friends because I haven't got anyone but myself. I like doin' all sorts of stuff, and I'm usually good with just about anything. I will do about anything to get friends because I'm sick of being harassed by my little brother. PLEASE RESPOND!�


Said and done, they went to Tyres� in order to catch up with him. It was very quiet in Philip's room. The two friends sat on his bed, as Philip tried find out what to do. They scratched themselves in inappropriate places and poked their noses during a long embarrassing silence.

After a while, Anton suggested a tour around the house. In one of the rooms, there was a drum-kit. Robbin just, like, kinda spoke:

-�Whoa man, just, like, kinda... What? Who's tis' drummin' kit?�
-�Mine.�
-�Can I like touch it?�
-�No.�
-�PLEASE, let me touch it!!!�
-�I said NO.�
-�Okay.... Err... No we,--um... Only need a... BASS-PLAYER!�

Anton, whom had been a bit out of attention, now took a GIGANTIC step forward (because his legs were so long), and he said:

-�PLAY THE BEST SONG IN THE WORLD.... Oh.. Sry.. wrong song... Err.. I mean.. I got something I want to tell you guys..�
-�What, you're gay?�
-�No,no.. However I've got something else to confess.�

Anton pulled very painfully something enormous and very heavy from out of his right ass-pocket (hip-pocket).
-�Holy sh*t! Man, that's a huuuuuge guitar!�
-�It's actually a doublebass you moron..�
-�F-kin sweet! Now we got a band!�

The three friends rehearsed very -hrmm-�seriously�, and now only needed a name. LOUD PIPES fitted well because all the good names were already taken. Such >ass< :
"MUSE, THE ROLLING STONES, THE WHO, LED ZEPPELIN, MICHAEL JACKSON, STRAY CATS, THE LIVING END, BLINK 182, U2, THE OFFSPRING, THE HIVES, AC/DC, SLIPKNOT, EMINEM, FRANK SINATRA, THE HELLACOPTERS, BACKYARD, BABIES, REVEREND HORTON HEAT, NEKROMANTIX, PINK FLOYD, MANIC, STREET PREACHERS, MAD SIN, EL RAY, QUEEN, FREAK KITCHEN, AEROSMITH, NAZRETH, TEH RAMONES, THE CLASH, SEX PISTOLS, DEEP PURPLE, MOT�RHEAD, RED HOT CHILIPEPPERS, CHARLIE PARKER, MILES DAVIS, DAFT PUNK, HORRORPOPS, GO GETTERS, THE RACONTEURS, THE WHITE STRIPES, MARYLIN MANSON AND MANY MORE..."

Our heroes fought hard in the battle of Emergenza, and the got all the way to the Nordic finals.
Ever since they began their glorious path of rock, they've played at various stages within Sweden, just to name a few of them -- Debaser Medis, Debaser Slussen, Klubben Fryshuset and the Live and Jive - Festival.


FIN.THE END. (AF)SLUT.